The hotel surrounds us

I look out from great - wild - unknowable
cavernous plains 
see stained cream canvas an sky
breathe deep upon
my rituals
the
sadness from sleep
scrubbed at 
coffee - marihuana - toast an butter
I walk past a hollowed out
ashen eyed meth-hole
dead face youth
an a man
in a horrible car
passes slow enough to see his greasy
-
the narratives have spoken .. blood drippin from the lips
-
The light is formidable and the can of beans grin cold sweat beads on my brow..
-
I make it back
back to the room

I look at my bed
there is a black vortex the shape of my body
I step in
one leg
and another

then
I
close the lid.

the way it happens every God-damn day

I 
caught my brain/
stoning my soul/
I chastised
till the voice came hollow
then faded
and my face
image
emerged
from the puddle
drained

...............

Give me
real-life moments
that hurt
cos they're so damn
beautiful
Give me laughter
in the face
of pain
Give me all-encompassing
revelations
that fade to
rise again -the
hope in a million brokens
Give me a smile
that cuts like
knife blade
Give me sincerity

There's the easy way
The hard way
an
The only way
- sometimes hardest of all